Scream 4

I was going to give this post a subheading, which I thought was way more clever last night than I do this morning. Scream 4: A Walk Down Memory Lame. But that wouldn't be entirely true, because the 4th Scream movie is not lame. Certainly not as lame as Scream 3. I enjoyed myself, even though I made fun of it the whole way through (an easy feat, seeing as how I was one of only 3 or 4 people who say this Wednesday night show).

Let's travel back in time to 1996, when the first Scream came out. I was 14.

That's me on the right, with my friend, who is arranging a ride to the movie theater.

Scream was a horror movie, a comedy, and a movie for movie lovers. It was scary, funny, and had a good cast. Seeing Drew Barrymore in the beginning was like seeing an old friend you liked but had lost touch with. She hadn't even done a single romantic comedy yet. She was in her short-hair-and-daisy phase, doing interviews about being a recovering alcoholic and hating her mom. And her character, Casey, wound up gutted, hanging from a tree. I mean, that's Gertie!

When the movie ended, I jumped up and screamed "that kicked ASS!" because I was 14. Everyone in the theater needed to know my enthusiasm. It wasn't like I could go home and blog about it or anything. I mean, by 14, my movie obsession was already unhealthy. But this was the first movie I saw as a teen, a movie that later turned into a franchise, a movie that resurrected the horror genre from cheesy '80s obscurity, a movie that caused me to write poorly-structured sentences like this one!

Scream 2 came out the following year, when I was around 15 or 16. It was just as smart and fun. Roger Ebert, who didn't like the original, gave it a favorable review. I remember being broken-hearted when they killed off Randy (my Randy!) Ooh, and Tim Olyphant. I mean, goddayum.

Three years later Scream 3 opened to mostly negative reviews. Kevin Williamson didn't write it. I didn't care for it. I mean come on, it was 2000. I was 17 and busy now with a boyfriend and a cashier job! Scream 3 was bad. It was hacky, not funny, certainly not scary, and the killer was Scott Foley. The soft-hearted RA from Felicity! Ooh! I'm so scared! Look at those puppy-dog eyes! So full of rage!

Eleven (ELEVEN!*) years later, we have Scream 4, or Scre4m, or "Scree-FOUR-um" as I say in my head (sounds dirty). Scream 4 is a little, um, busy. There is a lot going on here, a lot of minor characters and not enough attention to the three survivors from the original. Sidney Prescott is now an author who wrote a book about courage, survival and facing your fears. And from the samples she reads in the movie, man, this book is mad shitty. Really contrived and dumb. Anyway people like it and she brings it to her hometown for a reading. Then some murders start a-hapn'n. Gale Riley aka Gale Weathers is unemployed (by choice, it seems) and also an aspiring writer. Too bad she has no ideas and write in all caps. Dewey Riley is still a sheriff. Like he didn't want to go back to school or be a cop or anything? Whatever.

The murders are not scary and none of them deviate from stab wounds. None of the characters are given enough screen time to make the audience grow used to them, so that when they die, it's really not that big of a deal. Oh well. Emma Roberts is Sidney's cousin, Jill, and it seems that Ghostface is after all of Jill's friends because Sidney had to come back to her hometown. The nerve! There is this hilarious moment when Sidney walks out of her house after some murders occur and there are townsfolk making comments about how it's Sidney's fault. "She shouldn't have come back! It's her fault!" Hahaha. What?

But I still liked it. I felt like it was made for me, like a personalized greeting card. "Audrey, we know you liked the Scream movies, so here's another one, it's half-baked, but still kinda good." Even if it's not scary and I wouldn't recommend it, I still left feeling exhilarated, like I had just won a prize. Some batshit stuff just happened on screen that I got to be a witness to for $7.50. That's cool with me. I think Scream 4's saving grace it's that it's not boring. The pace doesn't slow to a hault whenever people talk. It never meanders or stays too long in any sentimental moments. It's all stab-stab-stab-witty remark-stab-shoot-pop culture reference-stab. Oh, and a little necessary overacting. That helps, too.

* lol. That's an Almost Famous reference! I don't even like that movie but thought I'd sneak it in there anyway