Yeah I know I'm probably too tired to actually write something insightful about this. And I know this probably has something to do with the hostility I have toward my own gender (oh sure, like I'm the first), but Natalie Portman sucks.
Whenever you see her in a movie, it's not "oh, it's that character, so-n-so," or "that's the movie where she plays that doctor/nurse/mom/etc," it's just like "oh, there's Natalie Portman, being shitty." And I know you'll say "oh but she's good in Beautiful Girls!" That shitty movie no one would even remember if it weren't for how famous she got? Somewhere there is a DVD of that movie sitting in a clearance bin for $2. Because no one cares. I won't even count her as Queen Amiblahblahblah* because 1) the Star Wars prequels are irrelevant to me and 2) I wish I had a grilled cheese.
You might bring up Closer but I don't remember that movie, like, at all. Except for that song in the end, because my mom plays it on her kitchen stereo all the time. The bottom line is, I'm hilarious. But the real bottom line is, this girl can't act. She's a walking Noxema commercial who made it big. I want to see her be miscast as an illiterate single mom so I can just laugh and laugh.
Now, do I really even care about this? No. Am I drunk? Also, no. Will I post this without editing? Yes. But my point remains clear, as clear as the skin in a Noxema commercial I previously mentioned.
* oh and that's a Pee Wee Herman reference, chumps
